he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
