just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
