Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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