we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
