Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize