I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
