Where did you get a picture of my penis
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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