I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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