if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
