I have demons in me.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
