i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
