Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
