i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
