I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
