so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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