Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
