i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
