Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
