I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
