how hairy? two words: wookie tits
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
