yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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