Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
