Kiss
Puke
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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