one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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