How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
