dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
