My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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