she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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