Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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