i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I am mentally ready for anal.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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