How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
