Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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