so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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