wat bout pragnant strippers??
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
