Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
