she looked like the bat from fern gully.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
She even gives head with a lisp.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
