what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
