Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
