You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
