I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
