My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You may now shotgun with the bride
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
