Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
