Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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