put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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