and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
