And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
