NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
