you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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