how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
