I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Acid is not a monday night drug
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
NoShamevember. You game?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
